Respect

Respect 

Respect and insult are one of the major topics of discussion these days due to the terrorist attacks in France. Many authors have written a lot about it. Therefore in this post I am going to share my experience of respect in Scandinavia and Pakistan.

In cross cultural communication it is really important to understand the values, so respect is one of them. If you do not give due respect that is considered normal in that society, then it can be considered as offensive or insult. On the other hand if you give respect that is not required it becomes a weird act. And the ways respect is given is also very complicated; it has both verbal and non-verbal ways. Verbal are easier to get, but non-verbal are kind of complicated and I have not seen much information or understanding of this among Asian and European people and most of them end up in conflicts. Because the reaction to disrespect is also very different. Some people change behavior like end the contact or relation, some people say it directly and that is considered rude by others and some people in extreme cases become violent and that is not good for a multi cultural environment. Anyways this is personal reflection based on social experiences. Anyone can disagree. 

Respect in Pakistan:

Let’s start with Pakistani culture. In Pakistan there are some groups that must be given respect no matter what, If you do not do that you will be considered as offensive and disrespectful by all of the people around you.  According to my personal experience some of those groups are

1-      Pakistan Army
2-   Parents
3-      Islam
4-      The country
5-      People Older than you
6-      People more educated than you
7-      Teachers
8-      Women (Uneducated people are an exception)
9-      Religious people (Changed a lot after war on terror)
10-  China

The way of respecting is that you show love to them. Do not question them. Cannot look in the eyes while talking, showing your best side of the personality, seek their attention and always go first and greet them (in case of people). Most of the time parents and teachers are advising you be respectful and disciplined. For example, you can not eat or talk in the classroom or conference room, it is a disrespect to the teacher or the boss. You can not sit among the older generation and there are plenty of actions that are considered as disrespectful. Therefore everyday from morning to evening you get a lot of lectures or lessons from someone older than you, telling you that you were disrespectful and those people consider it their duty to teach you, how to be respectful. 

Popularity can also be considered one of the factor. Therefore if a politician gathers a lot of people than he is considered as respected. Here is an example of a typical political address. 

There are some groups that are always both hated and respected. And you can see extreme emotions of love and hate about them

1-      Politicians
2-      Media (Mostly Criticized)
3-      Judiciary
4-      Sports personalities
5-      China, Saudi Arabia and Iran (Mostly loved)
6-      America and western countries (Mostly Hated)
7-      TV or film actors/ actresses
8-      Singers
9-      Your official boss
10-  Foreign customers or tourists
11-  Industrial tycoons
12-  Feudal
13-  Different races
14-  Rich people

Every person has a different opinion about different institutions, people or groups. Generally most of the people agree that money talks and the people who are rich are very powerful and majority of the people do not give you respect if you are poor. Due to this complicated structure of inequality there are a lot conflicts that exist. And for the right understanding of the values it is important to have a good relation with the people.

Respect in Scandinavia: 

On the other hand the Scandinavian society is very different. There is a law in Sweden that says that you are not better than anyone else. Kids are educated in a much lesser competitive environment. Therefore equality is given more value than anything else in Swedish society. If you are bragging about yourself to make a good impression, it is considered as a negative act. 

Sports personalities have much respect among Scandinavian. Football player like Zlatan Ibrahimovic is one the most respected people. After sports personalities royal families in Sweden and Norway have a lot of respect. Some people like to talk about them. A lot of singers from Scandinavia and abroad, Djz, local and foreign TV actors or celebrities are also among the people who are given respect. But showing respect is still different, you can see a super star on the street and still not so many people around him/ her. They can feel very normal on the streets. On the other hand in eastern countries the fans normally go crazy when they  see their ideals. Following is the picture of a famous Bollywood actor and his fans waiting for him early in the morning on his birthday 

Majority of the people like USA as a country and many people criticize that as well. Russia is not a favorite country among many Scandinavians.  

Religion or religious people is not given much respect in the Scandinavia and it is considered OK to make fun of the religion. No matter which religion it is. 

There is a big divide between Swedish and Norwegian people on the basis of respect for their countries. Norwegin people love to show their love about their country, talk about the histroy, having Norwegian flags everywhere and feeling proud to be Norwegian. Generally you can not talk against Norway or the teams that represent Norway abroad. The biggest day in Norway is the national day of Norway. Here is a picture from that day

In Sweden, it is not appreciated to show respect and love for the country. On Swedish national day you will not observe any similar thing. In Sweden you can say anything about the country and normally people will not react. 

In the recent days i have been inquiring many Swedish people about the respect,whom do they respect and how do they show respect. Most of the time it is a difficult question for them. All said that we just learned to be respectful to the older people from our parents. The rest everyone should be respected. And showing respect like opening doors for women, paying for others or doing similar things is not that much important. However one can still see that people have different behaviors towards some races, due to the laws against racism no one want to talk about it. And that is one of the reasons that integration is still a problem in Scandinavian countries. Many people are open towards it but there are many people among both immigrant and local communities are not open about it and their behavior can be disrespectful towards each other. Ignoring someone or keeping silence is normally a reaction if someone do not respect someone. 


The concluding remarks are: Life is very easy when you respect people for what they are. 

Memories of 2014

Memories from 2014

Life is quite uncertain. We can never predict what is going to happen. Circumstances change us as well. But we cannot really see the change in ourselves until we compare it with the past. 2014 has passed, seems like yesterday. Today I am trying to document some of the stories from 2014, that I can look back after many years and see how much changes, I have been through. I tried my best to keep a fair balance between staying in touch with all the people I know and meeting new people. I am really thankful to all the people who were there during 2014 and shaped my memories. I want to write a lot of stuff, but since it is public so I am writing carefully and will try to make it interesting for the readers. Let’s do it on monthly basis

January 2014:

I started 2014 while at work. I did have some plans for the year, some things happened according to the plans and something happened not according to them ….

This is 2014 firework picture in the background. I have celebrated new year eve 2015 in the same city.

January was full of traveling. On 2^nd January I went to Istanbul, Turkey. It was an amazing trip. 

Then I went to Karachi, Pakistan, met my niece for the first time after her birth. After that I flew to Lahore, Pakistan and attending the wedding of my cousin. At the wedding I met a lot of relatives after so many years. After Lahore, I went to Lalian, Sargodha and then back to Karachi, Pakistan. The love and hospitality I got was amazing.

After staying a few days in Karachi, I went for traveling in Sindh province. I went to Mehrabpur, Ghotki and Gambat. Met many of my relatives and then came back to Karachi again. From Karachi, I came back to Borås, Sweden. Just after arrival in Sweden I received an interview call from Rolls Royce for the graduate program.

As planned I travelled from Borås, Sweden to Trondheim, Norway. After a couple of days there I travelled to Ålesund for the interview at Rolls Royce. And then came back to Trondheim, Norway.

February:

During February I got back to student life at NTNU, Trondheim. The winters Olympics were in progress, many people were busy watching them everywhere. I started writing my thesis. Attended some job fairs, theater, more parties, TEDx Trondheim event and met many nice people.

On14th February we went for a Ski trip to Oppdal, Norway with Msc. Project Management students. It was one of the best trips; I really remember it until now. I saw northern lights as well. The best thing about February was that I joined the gym.

March:

March started with some awesome cricket matches in Asia cup. Pakistan won two very close matches, I was really happy. There was a workshop and concert with DNV GL in January. There were again a lot of events, dinners and parties. The best one was the last party with UKA gang.

I did curling for the first time. It was really great. Did a case study with Shell. Wrote a lot of job applications and continued writing my thesis. Continued my Norwegian language course as well. The month ended with the cricket world cup.

April:

On the first April I did Skiing for the first time. I fell down so many times; I think it was the first day after my childhood when I fell so many times. After that we had pillow fight in the city center. The days were long. The social life was awesome as usual. I lost my phone. I went on some trips as well. We went to visit Roros, Norway and in the end of the month I visited three cities in Netherlands. In Netherlands it was happening; one of the biggest festivals called the king’s day. I spent king’s night at The Hague city, kings day at Amsterdam and then I went to Enschede, Netherlands. It was an amazing dutch experience. 

May:

May was an awesome month. I travelled to northern Norway. Saw the amazing lofoten islands.

This is a picture at 12AM at a beach in Lofoten. It did not get dark at all.

After the trip to lofoten the most amazing day arrived. It was national day of Norway. People were dressed so nicely. Everyone was out that day. I always recommend all of my friends, if they want to visit Norway, they should at least be there on 17^th May.

After the national day, I attended the graduation dinner with my Msc. Project Management class at NTNU on May 22^nd. And then it was the time to say good bye.

The chapter of Norwegian student life was finally closed after the graduation. The very next day I moved back to Borås, Sweden. The days were warm and sunny. I joined my job again and kept working on my thesis.

June:

The month of June started with the thesis presentations of my International Project management class. I met my class fellows after a long time. I travelled with some friends to south of Norway again.

This is the picture from Porsgrunn, Norway.

The weather was nice, so we were often going for swimming. On weekends we were going to Gothenburg. There was a nice international food market in Borås. We went to varberg, Sweden for a couple of times and some of my friends from NTNU visited me in Borås. The month ended with a great relief and accomplishment of my Masters thesis.

July:

In July the football world cup was in progress. So we were normally going out to watch the football. During July nothing great happened. There was not much to do at work either. We were going to lakes for swimming. And were also visiting the cities nearby. In the end of July a friend of mine visited from Abu Dhabi. 

August:

August was full of concerts. It started with a live performance of Snoop dog. Than it came the way out west festival in Gothenburg and then we attended a concert with Otto Knows. There was a nice Gothenburg cultural festival as well. Later the way out west festival 2014.

A picture from Icona pop concert at Way out west 2014

 I ate Pakistani mangoes. I was mentor for two students at University of Borås and 13 students at Chalmers university of Technology. So I also hang out with my mentees in August. I attended a lot of events for welcoming them. So I spent a lot of time at Gothenburg during August.

A picture from welcome activities in Gothenburg for new students at Chalmers University.

 I casted my first ever vote in an election.  In the end of august I was fully beard for the first time in my life. I was selected as an ambassador of Isfit 2015.

September:

September was special because I received the result of my master’s thesis and I started Chinese language course at Chalmers. Met some really nice Chinese people in Borås and Gothenburg as well.  The rest it was busy at work, so it was kind of a usual working month.

October:

After a busy September I went to Pakistan on holidays. October was great. It was warm in Pakistan. I spent Eid with my family. Met most of the relatives, spent a lot of time with my niece. She started crawling at that time.

This is a picture of us hanging out J

 Met again with my friends and discussed about the great old times. Things have changed a lot. Attended a lot dinners with family and friends. I still miss all the hospitality and great food from Pakistan.

After I returned from Pakistan to Sweden, me and my friend Majid went to Hungary and Austria. It was also one of the best trips ever. Our hosts treated us really amazing.

This is a picture of us at hearos square Budapest.

November:

The November started with the Halloween. Chinese language course was there. I was applying for jobs as well on regular basis. There were interviews going on as well. And the workload was also very high. Something like managing in between was going on. I was elected as a council member of Swedish Engineers association.

I went for an interview in Kristiansand, Norway. On my way I stayed in Oslo. I met some of my friends. It was a great get together. I am very thankful for their hospitality.

This is a picture from the city center of Kristiansand.

In the end my residence permit expired and I applied for a new visa. It was also a lot of work to do for that. I attended some nice lunches and dinner during November. In the end of the month Christmas dinners started.  

December:

The month of December was great in start when I received my master’s degree. I finished my Chinese language course at Chalmers university. Two people from NTNU and one person from Pakistan received noble prizes. But a tragic incident occurred in Peshawar. It was really sad and I have no words to express my feelings.

I travelled to Fagesta for another interview. And I also sent many applications during the month of December. The Christmas dinners were over and we had a personalfest. That was a memorable event.

This is a picture from New Year’s Eve.

The 2014 has departed and 2015 has started. There are so many things that I want to remember from this year and use the lessons learnt for a better 2015. I wish a really awesome 2015 to everyone.