The Power of Black & White vs Grey

Some cultures operate in black and white.

Others live in the grey.

And after working across different countries and environments, I realized that the grey zone is often where growth actually happens.

When Emotions Become Stronger Than Roles

While working in Pakistan many years ago, I experienced a very formal workplace culture.

Relationships, emotions, and loyalty often carried more weight than processes or systems.

Resignation was not seen as a normal career move.

It was often treated emotionally — almost like betrayal.

Sometimes people were not even allowed to complete their notice periods because trust disappeared the moment they decided to leave.

In many workplaces, trust worked in extremes:

• If someone was trusted, even major mistakes could be forgiven.
• If someone was not trusted, even small mistakes became unacceptable.

The environment was highly relationship-driven.

Discovering “Lagom” in Sweden

Then life took me to Sweden.

I worked in restaurants there and experienced a completely different mindset.

One word explained almost everything:

Lagom — not too much, not too little. Balanced.

The best person was not treated like a hero.
The weakest person was not treated like a failure.

Instead, decisions, ideas, and intentions were constantly questioned and discussed.

People challenged leadership openly.

Not because they were disrespectful.
Because participation was expected.

And something fascinating happened:

People who left jobs were still welcomed warmly if they visited or wanted to return.

That culture created psychological safety.

• People took parental leave without guilt.
• Employees went on holidays without fear.
• Summer interns handled operations while experienced staff rested.
• Even less engaged employees were still informed and included in decisions.

Processes continued to work because organizations were built around systems — not emotional dependency on individuals.

The Difference Between Silence and Alignment

One thing I noticed in more formal cultures:

People often agree during meetings…
but disagree silently afterward.

Saying “no” is uncomfortable.

Challenging decisions can feel risky.

So people nod politely, leave the room, and then resistance quietly appears through inaction.

The organization believes alignment exists.
But execution never truly happens.

This creates frustration, politics, and stagnation.

In more informal cultures, the opposite often happens:

People openly disagree.
They challenge assumptions.
They debate decisions.

Sometimes conversations even feel uncomfortable.

But once a direction is agreed upon, people move together — even if they personally disagreed earlier.

That is the strength of the grey zone.

The grey zone allows:

• Critical thinking
• Healthy disagreement
• Better decision-making
• Emotional maturity
• Sustainable execution

Black and white thinking simplifies people into categories:

• Loyal or disloyal
• Trusted or untrusted
• Right or wrong

But organizations, leadership, and human behavior are rarely that simple.

Leadership Question

The real challenge for leaders is this:

When someone constantly challenges you…
do you stop listening to them because trust is reduced?

Or do you still recognize that different perspectives may carry value?

Sometimes the people who challenge us the most are the ones helping us avoid blind spots.

The grey zone is uncomfortable.
But it may also be where the healthiest organizations are built.

 

NED Experience

Life is all about experiences and what we experience makes us an authentic version of ourselves. It reflects in our thoughts, behaviors and personalities. In each and every community people with different experiences interact and develop a culture. Sometimes they adopt the existing culture and sometimes they are the reason that culture changes. NED University of Engineering & Technology is a community that has evolved over the years. This community is getting bigger and mature over the years. And this article is a reflection of NED experience between 2004 and 2007.

NED University at that time had a lot of sub communities and each and every student joined the community they fit well in. Most of the students used to spend a lot of time with their class fellows and department fellows. Since that was natural therefore no one had to do a lot of efforts to be part of it. The position in each class was based on one’s behavior and NEDianz were really good and competitive peers. In general norms, it was more exciting being a back bencher, bunking classes when possible, ragging in start of the year, rallies in the end of the year and preparation for exams during the preparation period that lasted over a month. Out of 12 months just a couple of months were hard and the rest were stress free months for the ones who were there for the survival only. The survival tips were provided by the seniors during the ragging period.

The most interesting part of the experience in 2004-07 was communication, it was unique and no other generation of NED has faced that yet. A couple of people in our class had cell phones at that time. We started an MSN account for our batch where everyone was added as a friend. Anyone could login and do chat with the rest of the class or add them their personal account. There were a couple of computer labs in Mechanical and Electrical departments that were open until 10PM for students. Each student had to pay a fee via voucher and use the internet account charged per hour. One person could login to multiple computer and pay higher price per hour. There were always some guys that never charged their accounts and always asked other people to login so that they can browse internet. In order to make new friends MIRC chat rooms or Yahoo messenger chat rooms were used. The most popular chat rooms were for CIS and BCIT. Where people were using a lot of fake names to interact and then add people on MSN messenger. This was pretty much the life in 2004. You attend some classes, sleep in the afternoon and spend evenings in these chat rooms.

Later on Telenor and Warid were launched in Pakistan and it became so easy to own a cell phone number. There were packages for sms that we took and started chatting in the classrooms, forwarding jokes and share other important news with the fellow students. The MSN messenger was still in use, but people used to prefer to talk all night via their night packages.

Another social media network became a very big hit at that time. It was called Orkut. There were a lot of groups in Orkut. Newly admitted students started chatting with the seniors even before joining the university. People were sharing pictures in their albums and the students were spending lot of time at Orkut. Later on it was banned in many departments at NED and people switched back to cell phones.

Let’s talk a little about the boring part, the academics, .It was annual examination system. The most relaxed one. Except a few students majority of the students were survivors. The aim was to pass out with the batch mates. During the year we were trying hard to get good sessional marks. Some teachers were very generous and did not ask much for giving away good marks. But some of them ask you to become a scholar in that course in order to score a few marks. In each year there were a couple of courses that asked for a lot of work and there were a few courses that were easy to pass. The peak business season for the photostate shop (specially Raza) was before the preparation leaves. In each class room there were a couple of students who did the clerical work of writing down each and every word told by the teachers. And then their notebooks were borrowed for copying by the rest of the class. In every friend circle there was one person who used to prepare everything for the exams and then help the back benchers to figure out about passing the exams. These people were angels for the remaining class. And there is no doubt that if these angels were not there, there might have been very few engineers graduating from NED.

The fun part of academics was practical as well. There were 1-2 days for these workshops and we had a lot of free time during those days. This free time was killed at the Gym, canteens or at the hostel watching movies. Going to gymnasium made some students become a part of the university teams. And due to the university games many students went for traveling to Punjab and NWFP. We did not win many medals though.

If someone ask an NEDian about their best time at the university. They will for sure talk about the rallies at the end of the year. There were a lot of rallies where BE used to wear different colored dresses by the whole department. Valentine’s Day, Independence Day, black day, yellow day, white day, cheap day, color day, blue day or birthdays were the occasions when used to get together and make a lot of noise. Each and every department made a lot of slogans. The students used to print their T-shirt with their department’s name. And they used to scream until they are out of their voice. The very last few days were very emotional when students talk about last four years. They give each other autographs and write on each other’s dresses. Many of them started to cry, realizing that these days are not going to return.

After these rallies, one of the key memories is annual dinners, picnics and the convocation dinners. These were the occasions where the students cannot recognize their class fellows. Everyone used to dress up so well. And there were some crappy digital cameras owned by a few people that we used to gather the pictures in USBs after the dinner. For sure we do not have many pictures and videos like the way people have these days due to the smart phones. There were much more talks and drama at that time as compared to today’s annual dinners.

For sure I can write a whole book on NED experience. But I would like to conclude on “Once an NEDian, always an NEDian”. It is a priceless experience that cannot be undone or redone.

Immigration and Integration in Sweden

Immigration has been one the hottest topics in Swedish social media and news recently. Because Sweden has been taking the most refugees in Europe after Germany and more than 15% of Swedish population have foreign background, it is the highest after Switzerland. So every now and then people talk about it. A friend of mine has sent me some questions for his research work, therefore I have decided to write this blog post and send this to him as well. It is based on my own observations and discussions I have been doing with the people.

There have been different kind of immigrants coming to Sweden over the years

1-      Labor force from Europe

2-      Foreign life partners of Swedish people

3-      Refugees

4-      Students and skilled workers

Sweden is an industrialized country for over 140 years now. In past there has been periods with huge economic developments when the local labor force was not enough. A lot of people from other parts of Europe came to Sweden to work here. These people got integrated because

1-      They had jobs when they moved here

2-      They could build network and socialize with their colleagues

3-      They shared kind of similar values as the locals did

Now Sweden have 2-3 generations of these migrants and if you do not ask your Swedish friends if they have foreign roots, it is hard to judge.

Sweden have a high number of people moving here because of their relations to Swedish people. Ever year over 40,000 people move to Sweden for this reason. The major reason is its generous social system and good social security. These migrants integrate faster because they already have family here. They hardly face issues related to permanent residence permit or Swedish citizenship. Normally they become a Swedish citizen in 3 years. The employment agency have good programs of integration for this group of people that make it easier for them to get employment.  

The third group is refugees. Over the years they have been coming from different parts of the world. Majority came from Former Yugoslavian region and Middle East. It has been hard for this group to integrate and that has created a distance between the former population of Sweden and new incomers. The reasons are

1-      They have different values than the local people, and that is a major hurdle in the integration process

2-      Most of them are unemployed

3-      Swedes spend most of their time in smaller social circles, that are not open to outsiders

4-      The integration process is slower for many people due to lower level of education and language skills

5-      It is easier for them to spend most of their time with the people from similar background. Therefore they end up in the societies where only foreigners live

6-      Due to high influx of refugees, the government could not facilitate a good integration process due to the lack of resources

Another group that rather very small are the students and skilled immigrants. They are in minority. Most of the foreign students in Sweden are now from Germany and other European countries. A few of them stay here after their studies, majority of them move back after completion of their studies. In past a lot of Non-European students moved to Sweden due to the free education. When Sweden started charging tuition fees in 2011, this flow of students stopped. There were no job opportunities for these graduates either. The students that got the job after studies stayed. Some did odd jobs, that were not relevant to their professional education and some did jobs relevant to their professional education. In both cases they got integrated in the society. These were the people who chose to live in Sweden that made it easier for them.

A day in 90’s

Life is really short and what makes it special is that everyone has a unique experience of living it. My life experiences have made me a story teller. Sometimes I am telling these stories to myself. And my memories about times tell me these stories in a different way, each time I think about the past, it is somewhat different because the new experiences in life shape the older memories a little. Before I forget everything the way I remember today, I should write it down.

Place of residence:

My father was in Pakistan army and he was stationed in a Town named Taxila cantt near the capital of Pakistan. The region has huge industrial complexes. It is one of the most developed areas of Pakistan and the literacy rate in the region is still the highest in the country (around 98%) with majority of the people having access to higher education. We were living in a two room’s apartment in a sector of hundreds of similar apartment in the town. The society was a mix of military and civilian workers. It was a very tolerant, multi cultural and non-politicized society. There were people from all over the Pakistan living and working there. It was a huge gated society where everyone has to go through a security check in order to enter the residential areas. It was a very green, clean and peaceful living area.

Mornings:

The hardest time of the day, when my whole family was struggling to get me out of the bed. I have loved sleeping and I run back to bed whenever I notice that no one is noticing me. Everyone used to offer Fajr prayer and I was the last one to offer it in the family. After that I used to recite the Holy Quran, meanwhile the breakfast was ready. It was always a warm breakfast with Tea (with milk).

After breakfast we used to wear our uniform for school. It was a grey pants, white shirt, black shoes with black socks, red tie and two badges. One badge represented the school and the other one was part of the drill group I was in for the morning assembly. Since the school system was managed by military, therefore there was a huge focus on discipline. We were not supposed to have more than a handful hair. We were not allowed to grow our nails and our shoes were supposed to be shinny all day long. We were also expected to keep our dress neat and clean in warm and dusty days.

My school building

School:

The school day used to start with a morning assembly. I do not have pictures from that time, but here are two examples to give you an idea.

The whole school used to gather in the main ground in the early morning. There was a morning prayer, a little drill, some speeches and sometimes inspections of the students. The non-compliance was subjected to punishment. For example if the line is not straight, or your hair or nails are longer or your shirt is not clean. Then the teachers or monitors used to take you out of the line so that everyone in assembly can see that you are being punished. Sometime it was pushups, sometimes sit stand or sometimes you have to stand later after everyone has left. The late arrivals at the school were also punished. After the assembly we used to do a parade before going to class rooms.

We had a class room, where the teachers of each subject used to come for 50 minutes lecture. We had an attendance call in the start of the day. We were supposed to keep our class room neat and clean as well. I had a really big bag for keeping all books and note books. We had two kinds of note books for each subject. One note book for school work and one was for home work. There was one more note book that was for rough work. Both school and home work note books were supposed to be covered by brown paper and plastics sheet with a name slip on them. Otherwise you were subjected to punishment for that as well. The punishment was sometimes standing outside the class room during the whole lecture. Sometimes it was standing while the whole class was sitting. I remember standing outside sometimes for not doing home work. After each lecture the teaching staff was changing according to the subject.  We used to have monthly, quarterly and annual examinations. After each quarter there was a teacher-parents meeting day. Where you were humiliated by both parents and teachers at the same time. I must say that I was a good student and normally my teachers were saying great things about me in front of my parents. We also used to have surprise tests, when you scored a lower grade, you were supposed to get it signed the answer sheet from your parents. So discipline and rules were everywhere.

Absence was subjected to fine as well. Before taking a leave you were supposed to write an application, get it signed from parents and teachers and then you were allowed to take leaves. If you were in need of a leave for more than 3 days, your parents were supposed to visit the school principal and ask for the leave. If you do any action that was against the school discipline, you parents were called in. Anyways we had our own ways of breaking rules. And the unity of the class was the key behind every rule we broke. During my school time I have faced a lot of punishments due to our group. The majority of these punishments were due to noise in absence of the teacher.

This is a typical pakistani punishment called Murgha 

We used to have two breaks, one was a short break and the other was a longer lunch break. We always hated the teachers that kept on teaching during the breaks. During break time we used to go in the play ground and play football or cricket. No matter how hot it was, we were playing. There was only one trouble. We had a teacher responsible for physical fitness. And whenever he was around, he gather us and asked to do some exercises. All of us hated that person and sometimes we ran away whenever we used to see him around.

Back to Home:

Around 1:30 PM the school was closed and we used to run back to our homes.  I was normally very hungry by then. When I reached home, the lunch was always ready. My mother always asked me to change the uniform and wash my hands before eating. I was just washing my hands. After lunch we were supposed to sleep, because all of the military persons in Pakistan sleep in the afternoon. Me and my brother were normally teasing each other and laughing. That used to make my father angry.  It was hard to fall sleep.

Home tuition:

There was a trend of home tuitions at that time. After waking up in the evening we were going to visit some part time tutors to do our home work and prepare for exams. Every home tuition experience was different. Sometimes I had tutors who were visiting our home and just teaching me and my brother and sometimes we were attending a tutor who was teaching a big group of students.

Evening play, dinner and TV:

After tuition we used to go to play in a play ground nearby our home. Where we used to hang out with our child hood friends, play cricket, football or some other sports until the sun set. Right after sun set we used to offer the prayer in the mosque and come back home. At that time we only had a couple of TV channels. We used to eat our dinner between 8 and 9 PM. That was the only time during the whole day when we were allowed to watch TV. Normally the Pakistan Television network played one episode of a drama series at that time. And we had one episode of a different drama series every night. After eating dinner and watch drama series we used to go to bed and sleep straight away.

Sometime due to load shedding we used to go out for a walk. And drink mango shakes (during summer) and milk during the rest of the year before going to bed.

The times has changed everything. I think that school life and social life in Pakistan cannot restore that period of time because of smart phones, internet and all similar things. We were living in a small world, where the rules were not questioned, no one was complaining and no one in my friends circle cared about what is happening all over the world. Majority of my class fellows from School times are still in touch, and without any doubts we claim that those days were one of the best days of our lives. 

Means of Transportation in Pakistan

During my recent traveling to Africa and Asia, i have realized that the difference in means of transportations are very very visible in Africa, Asia and Europe. And they also reflect the economic situation of the country. Therefore i have decided to write about the modes of transportation that are common in Pakistan.

**Personal Transport**

From 90's till now a lot of things have changed in Pakistan with personal transport. In old times there were a lot of bicycles on the road. It was also not easy for the labor class to buy a bicyle. The most popuplar bicyle of all times in Pakistan as been Sohrab Bicyle. Later on some imported bicyles special mountian bikes joined the market and the prices of the bicyles went down. Here is a picture of best seller Sohrab

It was a luxury to have a motor cycle. A 70cc honda motor cycle has been the biggest seller in Pakistan and it was a symbol of being moderate rich. Very few people owned 125cc motor bikes. And heavy bikes over 300 cc were only in the reach of super rich people. In 21st century there were a lot of 50-125 cc motor cycles came in Pakistan. There are being imported from China in huge numbers and are being produced in Pakistan as well. Due to these bikes now almost all middle class families can afford to have a motor cycles. These motor cycles have replaced the cycles almost everywhere in the citicies. Now you rarely see bicyles and you can notice the motor cycles everywhere in Pakistan. Here is a picture of typical motor bike riders in Pakistan.

The next stage in personal transportation is cars. With the time a lot of Pakistanis are now able to buy a car as well. Almost every day a lot of new cars are coming to Pakistan. Before the market was owned by Japanese car manufacturers specially toyota, Honda and suzuki. Toyota corolla has been the biggest seller in Pakistan. After that Suzuki Mehran has its own place. Most of the corolla are assembled in Pakistan by Indus motors. In recent years a lot of cars has been imported from Japan as well. This year Volksvagen has decided to start its sales in Pakistan. That will bring a lot of change in the market.

Toyota corolla, the biggest seller in Pakistan among rich people

Also a big seller for medium class 

**Public Transport**

Public transport in Pakistan depends very much on the region where you are. Some cities has a very good public transport facilities and some still have a poor public transport. Let's start from the local taxis

The local taxis has been the cars that are very very old. They are typical old corolla or similar cars from that period.

Later on the government of Pakistan introduced some yellow cabs, there are many of them on the roads as well

From airports you can get some better taxis

In northern areas of Pakistans, you will find jeeps as taxis

In old times there were a lot of horse carriages for transportation for the people who can not afford taxis. They still exist in many cities in Pakistan

Later on these rides got the competitors. The Qinjqi dropped the cost of transport. Since they were very unsafe and a reason of a lot of accident. The government has put a ban on them in many cities. However you can see them in smaller cities

An alternate to taxis has also been Rikshaws. They are a reason for dropping the taxi fares. Now they are almost everywhere and most of the people can afford them.

Public buses are intersting in Pakistan. Most of the buses are made by either Japanese companies like Mazda or their joint ventures in Pakistan like HinoPak motors. Some bus owners decorate their buses a lot. Here is a picture of a medium size public transport bus

Here is a picture of large size public transport buses

Two citicies of Pakistan now have a large metro bus services. There is also a plan of metro trains the some cities. However these projects are very heavy budget projects.

**Intercity Public transport**

The most popular way of traveling between the cities are buses. Non air-conditioned coaches and air conditioned luxury coaches are two main catagories. Non air conditioned coaches look like this.

They are big, they are not so comfortable and they are fast. In the air conditioned catagories there are some popular brands, and there are some not so popular brands. Most of the buses are Japanese or Pakistan made Japanese buses. A few are korean buses named Daewoo.

The alternate to the bus services are railways. Pakistan railways has on and off days. Sometimes the train network become really good and after some years it becomes really bad depending upon the government policies for railways. In the trains catagories we have long distance trains that have economy class, Air conditioner class and business class coaches. And then we have small passenger trains that only have economy class. Here is a typical Pakistan railways train. The trains are normally cheaper than bus services

In the end we have some domestic airlines. Our national airline PIA is known for its poor services now. And then we have some competitors named Air Blue and Shaheen air. There is a lot of passenger that want to commute with airlines. But there are not enough airlines available at the moment. With time the air fares are becoming more affoardable.

Thanks for reading this post. I will try to write another blogg about the goods transport in Pakistan. Please feel free to drop a comment or your feedback.