Respect

Respect 

Respect and insult are one of the major topics of discussion these days due to the terrorist attacks in France. Many authors have written a lot about it. Therefore in this post I am going to share my experience of respect in Scandinavia and Pakistan.

In cross cultural communication it is really important to understand the values, so respect is one of them. If you do not give due respect that is considered normal in that society, then it can be considered as offensive or insult. On the other hand if you give respect that is not required it becomes a weird act. And the ways respect is given is also very complicated; it has both verbal and non-verbal ways. Verbal are easier to get, but non-verbal are kind of complicated and I have not seen much information or understanding of this among Asian and European people and most of them end up in conflicts. Because the reaction to disrespect is also very different. Some people change behavior like end the contact or relation, some people say it directly and that is considered rude by others and some people in extreme cases become violent and that is not good for a multi cultural environment. Anyways this is personal reflection based on social experiences. Anyone can disagree. 

Respect in Pakistan:

Let’s start with Pakistani culture. In Pakistan there are some groups that must be given respect no matter what, If you do not do that you will be considered as offensive and disrespectful by all of the people around you.  According to my personal experience some of those groups are

1-      Pakistan Army
2-   Parents
3-      Islam
4-      The country
5-      People Older than you
6-      People more educated than you
7-      Teachers
8-      Women (Uneducated people are an exception)
9-      Religious people (Changed a lot after war on terror)
10-  China

The way of respecting is that you show love to them. Do not question them. Cannot look in the eyes while talking, showing your best side of the personality, seek their attention and always go first and greet them (in case of people). Most of the time parents and teachers are advising you be respectful and disciplined. For example, you can not eat or talk in the classroom or conference room, it is a disrespect to the teacher or the boss. You can not sit among the older generation and there are plenty of actions that are considered as disrespectful. Therefore everyday from morning to evening you get a lot of lectures or lessons from someone older than you, telling you that you were disrespectful and those people consider it their duty to teach you, how to be respectful. 

Popularity can also be considered one of the factor. Therefore if a politician gathers a lot of people than he is considered as respected. Here is an example of a typical political address. 

There are some groups that are always both hated and respected. And you can see extreme emotions of love and hate about them

1-      Politicians
2-      Media (Mostly Criticized)
3-      Judiciary
4-      Sports personalities
5-      China, Saudi Arabia and Iran (Mostly loved)
6-      America and western countries (Mostly Hated)
7-      TV or film actors/ actresses
8-      Singers
9-      Your official boss
10-  Foreign customers or tourists
11-  Industrial tycoons
12-  Feudal
13-  Different races
14-  Rich people

Every person has a different opinion about different institutions, people or groups. Generally most of the people agree that money talks and the people who are rich are very powerful and majority of the people do not give you respect if you are poor. Due to this complicated structure of inequality there are a lot conflicts that exist. And for the right understanding of the values it is important to have a good relation with the people.

Respect in Scandinavia: 

On the other hand the Scandinavian society is very different. There is a law in Sweden that says that you are not better than anyone else. Kids are educated in a much lesser competitive environment. Therefore equality is given more value than anything else in Swedish society. If you are bragging about yourself to make a good impression, it is considered as a negative act. 

Sports personalities have much respect among Scandinavian. Football player like Zlatan Ibrahimovic is one the most respected people. After sports personalities royal families in Sweden and Norway have a lot of respect. Some people like to talk about them. A lot of singers from Scandinavia and abroad, Djz, local and foreign TV actors or celebrities are also among the people who are given respect. But showing respect is still different, you can see a super star on the street and still not so many people around him/ her. They can feel very normal on the streets. On the other hand in eastern countries the fans normally go crazy when they  see their ideals. Following is the picture of a famous Bollywood actor and his fans waiting for him early in the morning on his birthday 

Majority of the people like USA as a country and many people criticize that as well. Russia is not a favorite country among many Scandinavians.  

Religion or religious people is not given much respect in the Scandinavia and it is considered OK to make fun of the religion. No matter which religion it is. 

There is a big divide between Swedish and Norwegian people on the basis of respect for their countries. Norwegin people love to show their love about their country, talk about the histroy, having Norwegian flags everywhere and feeling proud to be Norwegian. Generally you can not talk against Norway or the teams that represent Norway abroad. The biggest day in Norway is the national day of Norway. Here is a picture from that day

In Sweden, it is not appreciated to show respect and love for the country. On Swedish national day you will not observe any similar thing. In Sweden you can say anything about the country and normally people will not react. 

In the recent days i have been inquiring many Swedish people about the respect,whom do they respect and how do they show respect. Most of the time it is a difficult question for them. All said that we just learned to be respectful to the older people from our parents. The rest everyone should be respected. And showing respect like opening doors for women, paying for others or doing similar things is not that much important. However one can still see that people have different behaviors towards some races, due to the laws against racism no one want to talk about it. And that is one of the reasons that integration is still a problem in Scandinavian countries. Many people are open towards it but there are many people among both immigrant and local communities are not open about it and their behavior can be disrespectful towards each other. Ignoring someone or keeping silence is normally a reaction if someone do not respect someone. 


The concluding remarks are: Life is very easy when you respect people for what they are.